Name: Lawnmower hum.
Age: Getting steadily louder since 1830.
Appearance: From roughly 1 April to late September.
What is it? It’s the sound of summer, mate.
You mean like the Beach Boys? No.
Like birdsong, or children’s laughter, or Greensleeves blaring from an ice-cream van? More like the rip, chug and whine of lawnmowers big and small, providing the background noise to the season.
I have to say, I like the sound of a bit of mowing on a sunny afternoon. You’re not alone – the columnist William Sitwell calls it “the music of May”.
So evocative, isn’t it? But you’re also not in the majority. Lawnmower noise is a perennial summer complaint, pitting neighbour against neighbour.
I suppose these things can boil over occasionally. They certainly can. A woman in Wiltshire is facing up to a year in jail for deliberately leaving her lawnmower running while her neighbours were having a dinner party.
That’s a bit harsh. Her actions represented the culmination of a 15-year feud, and the violation of a restraining order, so there’s more to it.
Honestly, it’s just a bit of noise. Lawns don’t mow themselves, you know. The most common complaint seems to be that the noise happens on weekends, when hard-working people are trying to relax in their gardens.
I also work, so the weekend is my only chance to mow the lawn. And as we’ve established, some people, like me, actually enjoy the sound. Maybe it sounds better when you’re the one doing the mowing.
I wouldn’t know. I have to wear these giant ear defenders so I don’t go deaf. And your neighbours never complain?
Again, I would have no way of hearing them. The irritation also extends to the antisocial use of other noisy tools: hedge trimmers and edge strimmers, pressure washers and angle grinders – anything that disturbs the peace.
It’s just a matter of mutual consideration and compromise, isn’t it? It’s also a matter of law. Local authorities have the power to impose fines of up to £5,000 on people who cut their grass outside of reasonable hours.
And what constitutes reasonable hours? 8am to 8pm is generally considered acceptable on weekdays. Some councils also recommend restrictions of 9am to 7pm on Saturdays, and 10am to 7pm on Sundays.
Those don’t seem like restrictions aimed at resolving the average summer garden conflict. It’s not going to help you read a book in a hammock of an afternoon, no.
Do say: “If you can’t pinpoint the inconsiderate lawnmower user in your area, then the inconsiderate lawnmower user may be you.”
Don’t say: “Don’t worry, neighbour! I got you a pair of ear defenders as well!”
